Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A Monologue: Your dreaded Gangster Nyingtob Tshering pours his heart out.

"Lekey left me....right after my dad's funeral rites got over...she attended the ceremony...not to console and support me...she had attended to be with my ailing mother for she felt for her…the pain of losing someone special and the loneliness that ensue...my mother lost her lifelong friend and Lekey knew what it meant...she was a sensible woman....who could sense a lot...But without a word...she left.she left to never return...she left to live her life far away from me...away from my world.

I can still feel the warmth of the funeral pyre...those fire fringes and the heat that consumed every bone and flesh of my father...burnt it down to black and grey and turned it into nothing but ashes......I am sorry dadI couldnt be the man you always dreamt of Every time I think about myself.... I miss him even more...and I shed tears.and those tears only pray for forgiveness as they roll down my cheek.

My father was the kindest I knew a man could be. He was also as brave as he was kind. He was, he is and will be my hero. My dad had to sacrifice his life to save me from being beaten and dragged by a gang. He was stabbed thricebleeding blood and braveryhe saved his only son. He reached me home like a war comrade who never leave anyone behind...but he couldnt make itnow I am left all alone.

My mother… she is also not doing well since then…and when I look at her I am reminded of all my failuresI know I am the reason for her suffering, her losing of her husband…let alone that I dont have a decent job to support my mother too.A hopeless sonYes I am.A hopeless me!

Thus one night, I slammed my door, picked up a knife and I was ready to slice my nerves...I had pressed the sharp edge of a knife on my wrist and was ready to press it hardercut deep and get deeper…thinking all my lifes frustrations and disappointments would ease with every deep cut I make.

 But all said and done.things have changed a lot now.a subtle thought has intrude and has invaded my minda ray of hope sparkles in every directiona long forgotten dream renewed!

A Drug addict, substance abuser, a dreaded gangster…uselessunproductive human being.call me what please you...but naming and shaming isnt going to robe my determination to change myself now… For I have found the true meaning of my lifeI am free from all confusions...Thus I am more alive....Alive to enjoy this precious life again.

Yes I am alive to live a whole new life! Come along with me. Lets take a walk together in this beautiful journey called life."

Thank you
Yours sincerely
Nyintob.

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