Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Life is not a popularity contest

(Pelden Chodra wrote this letter to Syeldon after he saw Syeldon  with the man who had French moustache and curly hair )

Dear Syeldon Rewa Wangchuck,

You won’t believe me….For last twenty-eight years I have been quiet busy making myself popular among friends, colleagues, relatives and strangers whom I have come across. I was and I am popular. But this status quo of popularity did come with a cost.

In my quest for popularity I have not been able to get what I actually wanted in my life or where I actually wanted to be. I have not been able to fully express my own feelings. I choked often when emotions overwhelmed me. I did hide my anger, frustration, disappointments to please and comfort others. I was too engrossed in making others happy that my own happiness always took a back seat. I have been too nice to all that I didn’t dare to say NO if I didn’t want something to do or wanted to happen. I was too busy gathering cheap praises and any flattering would bring smile on my face. I have been too emotional in living my life. I was too stupid to believe that life is a popularity contest.

A wise man once said, ‘Half of our life we figure how to live and in the other half we actually live’. I guess my time has finally arrived and I know, for whatever little good things that I did for you, you would now help me change for my betterment. See dear, I simply don't want to live a life of 14 year old boy in 28 year old body.

Syeldon, if we meet again someday I promise I won’t gaze at you with my loving eyes, hold your hands tenderly and ask you out for a date. On that day please don’t expect me to be the same old Pelden Chodra. You may not like the way I would approach or talk with you that fine day but I can’t help it. I have made up my mind and indeed I have already taken the first step by announcing this to you here. 

I need to be more practical in life. Emotions are good only in books and songs. You know, people take us for granted if we are too emotional in dealing with them. It only makes us look weak and people gallop to play tricks on us. I love to be just me (previous version) and I hate to change but I must change for good.

I always wished that I would fall in love with only one lady and would spend my entire life with her. When everything in my life seemed perfect; I got a job and I was working in the capital, you happened   suddenly. It was like icing on a cake. I was so damn happy. I envisioned every romantic moment that i would spend with you. I assured myself that I would love you so much that you would shed tears of joy. I promised myself that I would always comply with your commands, think your thoughts, dream your dreams, sing your songs and walk your talks. But this small wish of mine also didn’t get fulfilled due to my silly quest to become popular with you by being nice and easy.

I wish it isn’t at all true that you don’t think about me. I wish it isn’t true that you don’t miss me. I wish you haven’t walked too far away that you won’t be able to come back to me. I wish…I wish you understand and accept me the way I am. I wish I didn’t feel this need to change just to get the things that I wanted and you being special among all have made it more confusing.  I wish this madness for popularity doesn’t creep into my mind again. I wish my conscience stands solid and keeps on believing that Life is not a popularity contest.

Thanking You
Your well wisher
Pelden Chodra

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